Well, now we’re in a different year and a different decade. In fact, today heralds a powerful full moon amplified with an eclipse and followed by a planetary astrological conjunction on Jan 12th that hasn’t happened since WW1, WW2, and 9/11.
So, if you’ve been feeling out of sorts, it’s pretty normal. And as someone who has also been deeply invested in my personal growth over the past decade – I can tell you whether or not your 2020 will be spectacular, or whether you’ll continue to experience the same issues and challenges.
Over the past decade, I’ve spent tens of thousands of dollars on my own personal growth. I’ve worked with counsellors, coaches, guides, and healers to work on healing my inner child, working on my father issues, working on my feminine shadow, and healing the connection to my sexuality and body.
I’ve also been part of powerful group programs, masterminds and international leadership trainings.
If you’ve felt like you’ve been spinning your wheels the past year (or ten), especially regarding the relationship you have with yourself, your intimate relationships, or your connection to your sexuality – here are 5 ways to find out if your 2020 will actually be any different.
- YOU RECOGNIZE THAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY READY FOR A CHANGE & WANTING IT!
You may say you’re ready for massive change in your life – as it relates to health, relationships or career, but like all things – ifyou don’t actually expect that things can change, you’re just paying lip service.
Acknowledging that something isn’t as aligned, amazing, or fulfilling as it could be is THE first step. First seeing and acknowledging the cracks in your relationship, acknowledging you’re afraid of intimacy, that your job doesn’t give you joy, or that where you live isn’t ideal is the first step, which leads to this.
When you’ve identified that you’re ready for a change – you actually have to WANT IT! This is where DESIRE comes in.
When I’m vetting potential clients, I first see if they are even able to commit to following through with a consultation call. If they show up for the call, they’ve demonstrated their desire. If they don’t, I don’t book a session with them.
So – while you can feel ready, will you actually be ready for the change. Your willingness to Say YES! will determine that.
2. YOU START PREPARING FOR CHANGE INTERNALLY & EXTERNALLY
In knowing and TRUSTING that an aspect of your life could be different, you start to prepare for change internally (in your heart + soul) & externally (through your lifestyle or environment).
If you’re single and desiring partnership, perhaps you start looking into dating apps, dating events, and finding ways to meet new people outside of your social circle.
Or maybe if you’re in a loving yet stagnant and passionless partnership, perhaps you start looking into taking a couples retreat, training, or reading books together.
While you start to feel a shift in your heart perhaps in visualizing a more healthy & active sex life, seeing yourself in a loving partnership, or feeling the way this new change will positively impact your life, they are accompanied by a shift in your external environment.
3. YOU SEEK OUT ACCOUNTABILITY & SUPPORT
As anyone who has made major shifts in their life can attest to, it takes lots of support and accountability to make big changes in one’s life. Look at the amount of work it takes to lose 30 – 50lbs, quit smoking or drinking, or reviving a marriage on the brink of divorce.
While it takes a solid commitment, it also generally requires the support of someone. Like a health trainer to show you the steps needed to lose the weight, or a relationship coach to help you communicate effectively in your marriage.
- Have you found someone you can trust to hold you accountable?
- Have you shared your goals and intentions with someone close to you?
- Have you created a way to measure your success? What does success look like?
- Have you found support – either through a group, training program or mentorship?
While you don’t necessarily need to join a group training or program – the chances of you succeeding in actualizing your vision is comparatively higher than if you don’t.
The American Society of Training and Development (ASTD) did a study on accountability and found that you have a 65% of completing a goal if you commit to someone. And if you have a specific accountability appointment with a person you’ve committed, you will increase your chance of success by up to 95%.
As the Deepak Chopra website states, “The coaching business has increased in popularity lately, and for good reason. Coaches get paid to assist you in clarifying your goals, to hold you to a reasonable timeline, and to help develop strategies for overcoming obstacles that get in the way of achieving the final outcome (plus, you’re more likely to try to get your money’s worth if you’ve invested in someone to help you).
One of the defining characteristics of coaching is that it creates a measuring tool for action and a means for reporting on self-learning. Good coaches never judge, scold, or blame; they simply help you realize what works and what doesn’t when it comes to the commitments you make to yourself.”
4. YOU COMMIT TO FOLLOWING THROUGH WITH A TIME-FRAME & DAILY ACTIONS
I personally love the process of shifting old behaviours and patterns through giving myself a time-frame to commit to. In doing so, it gives some incentive to stay focused and also mentally helps the goal feel doable.
A personal favourite is committing to 90 days, as it’s a bit longer than the timeframe scientifically assessed that’s needed for behaviour shifts to take place….meaning you are guaranteed change!
From a blog featured on James Clear, he describes that, “In a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, Lally and her research team decided to figure out just how long it actually takes to form a habit. On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And how long it takes a new habit to form can vary widely depending on the behavior, the person, and the circumstances. In Lally’s study, it took anywhere from 18 days to 254 days for people to form a new habit.”
So while people have experienced significant life changes in shorter periods of time – it’s generally accepted that 90 days is a great time-frame to set for yourself in creating a new pattern or habit.
5. YOU ALLOW YOURSELF THE PERMISSION TO LEARN, GROW & FUCK UP!
In the experience of shifting behaviour, whether you’re getting over a serious porn addiction, learning how to be vulnerable in your intimate relationships, or exploring the power of Tantra in your personal life – allow yourself the permission to learn, be curious, expand into greater versions of yourself, and make mistakes.
In embarking on the journey of releasing old habits and beliefs – specifically as they relate to your sexuality, sensuality, body, relationships, and intimacy, it will often feel fucking scary!
Allowing yourself to feel scared and still do the inner work anyways is so important. The fear can be telling you that this is something you’ve never done before – or as I like to say – the feelings of fear and excitement are very closely related.
Give yourself permission to also celebrate your successes along the way! This is something we do in all of my courses and trainings.
If you’re truly ready to experience:
• A greater connection to your desires, sexuality, and intimacy in 2020
• Learn powerful practices in sacred sexuality to enhance your connection with your lover
• And explore new ways of relating to orgasmic energy, spirituality, and your interpersonal relationships….
Try saying yes to something new in 2020 and join me in an intimate and beautiful 7 Week Online Immersion in Sacred Sexuality starting Jan 27th!
This is an excellent introduction into the ancient erotic arts and sacred sexuality….and can be explored and experienced through the comfort of your own home.
Tuition to this 7 Week training is super accessible and if you use the special promo code ‘GoldenFlameDiscount’ (only 20 of them now available), you’ll receive an additional $100 discount….making the course only $297 in total or $111 for your first instalment.
YUP….if you choose the payment plan option of 2 x $222, you’ll get the first payment for only $111. That’s literally the price of an expensive meal at a restaurant.
REGISTER FOR THE ONLINE COURSE HERE >>
INCLUDED IN THIS ONLINE COURSE STARTING JAN 27TH IS:
• 7 Video & Demo Modules ($400 Value)
• 90+ page PDF Course Book ($297 Value)
• Weekly At-Home Integration Practices & Challenges
• Community Group Calls ($600 Value)
• Private Facebook Group
• LEVEL 1 CERTIFICATION (upon completion of all assignments).
TOTAL VALUE: $1297 ACTUAL TUITION ONLY $397
ONLINE TUITION: $397 CAD or 2 instalments of $222 CAD
Use the promo code ‘GoldenFlameDiscount’ (30 Discount Codes Available!)
AND IF YOU LIVE IN VICTORIA BC THERE’S STILL SEATS LEFT IN THE LAST LIVE IMMERSION OF 2020!